Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
