i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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