I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
