She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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