best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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