i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
