dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
