We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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