am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
