No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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