girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
