My sheets look like a crime scene.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
