in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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