YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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