OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
