White coat. Heels.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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