Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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