One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize