sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my shit smells like andre
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
