I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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