i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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