"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
