Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize