Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
