How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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