Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
