Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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