You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
