I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
