It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
