Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
