am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
