Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
