Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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