Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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