Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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