She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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