The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
