That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize