that's an acceptable place to lick
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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