i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
