Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
