Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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