you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
