I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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