apparently the secret to your success is patron
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
