I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
