you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
