Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
smell my finger.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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