I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize