The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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