Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
ttyl tear gas
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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