Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
