Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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