I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize