Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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