When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
