It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
