Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
