turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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