every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
