I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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