omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
