He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
